This year I left my full-time job in Social Work management to start my own business. A giant leap into the unknown! I'm still very much in the early days but I have already learned so much about myself and reflected in depth upon my career journey and experiences and how they have impacted upon me.
Taking the leap was so exciting and although there are most definitely some challenges, I have not regretted my decision at any point. I have, however, been surprised by some of the difficulties I have felt when transitioning from a traditional '9 to 5' into the world of self-employment. More specifically, going from a field that is permeated with regulatory frameworks and systems to having almost complete freedom around how I want to practice professionally. Or put in another way, leaving a world of control, restriction and roadmaps, for a world of flow, surrender and 'uncharted seas'.
When working for any large organisation or regulated profession, there are multiple sets of standards, principles and frameworks to adhere to. Guidelines for practice; rules around conduct; required working hours; structures and systems around all areas of work, including timelines and deadlines, plans and reviews; and a hierarchical structure to deliver your practice within. You're told what to do, when to do it, how to do it (sometimes!) and what will happen if you don't get it right.
Of course coaching and Reiki both have ethical frameworks attached to them, rightfully so, but there is no automatic guidebook to how you set up and create your business profile or provide services. But I went looking for one .. I was initially drawn to organisations, services and companies that provided some level of the structure I was used to. And I couldn't work out why everything just wasn't feeling right.
I had increasing feelings of discontent around what I was doing and was starting to question what I was supposed to do next. I looked for answers in places that would tell me to 'work hard and make a million', to push harder and sell faster. And none of it was resonating with me. My intuition told me I had made the right choices and I absolutely felt that I was on the right path, but why didn't I seem to want to push forward?
I don't always find it easy to ask for help - not from my loved ones, from the experienced network available to me, or in a spiritual way. I tend to connect to all of these things when things are going well but, when I feel unsure, I tend to isolate myself a little and insist on thinking my way out of things alone. I got to a point though when I just felt stuck. I knew something wasn't right and I was losing trust in my own intuition and insight. During my regular new moon ritual and card reading, I just couldn't make sense of the messages I had and I felt lost. I realised that I hadn't set any intentions at the new moon for the last 3 months and knew that I had to do something different to allow myself to commit to moving forward. I finally asked for help and am very grateful to the lovely Caz Gaskin https://www.sacredmoon.me for her amazing Oracle card reading, her insight, advice and kindness. I started to realise that the places I was seeking support to move forward were echoes of everything I wanted to leave behind.
I had taken the big leap because I wanted freedom and space to be creative and to be my authentic self. But I had immediately started to place restraints upon myself and looked for any kind of framework to tell me what I should be. My questions were all about what steps should I take and when? How do I need to present myself to the world? And how is at all going to work out? I found answers to these questions - but I hated them! They weren't me, they weren't what I was really looking for.
Over the next week or so as the moon became full, it illuminated more of what I needed to see. I discovered the podcast of the amazing Kelly Vikings https://kellyvikings.com, who just seemed to understand and validate everything I was feeling and experiencing. I let go of the routes I had started exploring that didn't resonate for me and I started to accept that although the unknown is the most terrifying thing to me, I had to embrace a life of flow, the 'uncharted sea'. Instead of following someone else's guidebook, I decided to write my own story. And here we are!
A quote from Rebecca Campbell in her book, Rise Sister Rise, gave me further reassurance:
'Aligning your life is a never-ending process. It is a day-by-day, moment-to-moment practice. Not a one-off overhaul. Living a life of alignment is a daily practice. Checking in, staying on course, redirecting as you travel. Noticing what feels good, free and spacious, and what feels restrictive, stagnant and stuck. What is falling away and what is ready to rise.'
As cliche as it may sound, personal growth and development are a journey, but it is not a linear one. Going with the flow and accepting uncertainty as part of my life is completely new for me. I still have days where I feel scared and unsure, and sometimes seek security or reassurance from more familiar routines, and I sometimes find myself falling back into old ways or habits. But I am blessed with space and time to notice and reflect on when that happens and seek out my support network to get through it.
I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity and I know that fully stepping onto this path does not feel available to everyone. I'm grateful to my partner, friends and family for their support and for the experiences I have had that have allowed me to get to this place to explore who I am and what I want to give to the world. I know that many will feel they cannot take a leap and I do completely recognise that the requirements and expectations of the system do sometimes have to take priority. We all have bills to pay! Many of us work and live in a world of structures and rules, and they serve a purpose to some extent, but when they start to feel restrictive to living a value-aligned life and stifling to your creativity it's time to break free and do something different. It doesn't have to be giving everything up and running off into the sunset, but starting small with taking time for yourself to really explore your passions, what makes you feel alive and in flow and what genuinely brings you joy could spark meaningful growth and transition for you on a mental, emotional and spiritual level.
So reach out to those around you who can help! Connect to your loved ones, engage in a hobby you love, meditate, get outside, move your body, be creative! And of course, Reiki, Oracle card readings and coaching can all help you along the way and if you think I might be able to help you on your journey into self-discovery and freedom, then please reach out and drop me a message.
Thanks for reading - hope you enjoy writing your own story too.